So winter is upon us and is full of good things: Christmas, my daughter’s birthday, my birthday, not having to look at guys in sandals, etc. Unfortunately this is also the time of year for holiday cheese. Not the edible type of cheese but the cheesy kind. There are 2 things that stand out to me more than others: Christmas songs and Christmas cards.
First the songs: do I really need to hear Yoko Asshole screeching “War is over…” every time I turn on the radio?!?!? Last time I checked there’s a war going on so war is not over. Nor can she sing. Paul McCartney, WHAM!, Elton John, Band-Aid, these are all big mistakes. Someone please find me a damn station that doesn’t play this garbage!!!!!
Christmas cards: listen, if you’re going to send me a card with a picture on it, make it a picture of the whole family….not just your kids! I find it insulting when I open an envelope and BAM! there’s a picture of your kid(s) staring at me. Chances are I give a rat’s ass and will immediately throw it in the garbage. Send me a nice picture of the whole family or just a card….nobody except grandparents want to see this.
Now just to show I am not Mr. Grumpy Pants there are plenty of things I like about this time of year. Most of all is my daughter’s excitement knowing that Santa will be coming soon and the fact that I have it in my back pocket as a bargaining chip to keep her in line if she misbehaves. Let’s face it, kid’s could care less if Santa’s watching in June!!!
I like the decorations….shoot, I had my tree erected (insert your joke here) on 1 November this year, a new record! It took a while longer to decorate it and decorate the house but the tree was up!
Best of all is Christmas morning. I love the look on Samantha’s face when she sees what Santa left her. Oh and yes, I like opening my presents too. I am a greedy bastard and like presents….sue me!