Vinny….Crusader at Large

December 18, 2009

I like to write letters.  You know when you experience something very good or very bad?  Well I write letters to companies or people about things.  Some people laugh at this and think it’s a fruitless attempt to gain something or just to vent and spout off about something I don’t like….that’s not true.  I would be willing to bet I have written more letters to politicians than about 99% of people…both good and bad letters–although most of these are bad letters.  Recently I tried calling BJs to check on appointments to have new tires put on my wife’s car.  Not only didn’t anyone answer the phone but then it directed me to their voice mailbox and I was unable to leave a message BECAUSE IT WAS FULL!  So I wrote a letter to BJs and told them that either 1) their manager couldn’t manage their way out of a paper bag and did not keep the store properly staffed to address customer questions or 2) they were just lazy.  Either way this resulted in a flurry of phone calls to me by both BJs’ corporate office and the store’s general manager.

A couple years ago my wife and I went to Pocono Raceway and got premium seats–right on pit road with open bar, all you can eat buffet, a break area with closedc circuit TV, infield parking, etc.  The only issue I had was paying $250.00 per ticket.  So I wrote a letter telling Pocono Raceway that their were many empty seats and that I watched subsequent races on TV and those seats were empty and I thought it was embarrassing for them.  So I proposed that they let me buy tickets for the same area cheaper.  They said no.  I wrote more letters.  Finally about a year and a half later they sent me a letter saying they would grant my request and let me buy tickets for those same seats for half price.  Problem solved.

I have written letters to airlines and have tons of frequent flier miles and had a bunch of airport lounge passes as a result.  But I don’t just write bad letters.  When I go to a store or restaurant….or anywhere for that matter and someone helps me or goes out of their way to make sure things are done right I always write a letter to their employer and tell them what a great job that employee did. 

I get sick of these snot-nosed little pricks that act like they’re doing you a favor when they serve you in a restaurant or check you out in the store so I think it’s important to single out the employees that do their job and have some pride in themselves.  I don’t write bad letters about the arrogant little bastards when I come across them….I tell them to their face.  I have been known to say “Hey Coolio, pull your head out of your ass for a second and do your job” or “Hey Chim Chim, try pulling your fucking pants up so people don’t have to look at your underwear” and I ALWAYS make sure I say it loud enough for others to hear.  These bastards are not worth the time it would take me to write a letter.

I also reward good service.  When I go out to eat and I have a very good waiter/waitress I make sure they certainly know it because I leave big tips for them.  The bottom line is: do your job the best you can and I am going to make sure you’re rewarded and/or let your employer know. Be a slacker or arrogant shit loaf and I am tell tell you right then and there.  I wish more people would do these things but I understand not many people like writing letters or confrontation.


Ode to Air Biscuits

December 14, 2009

Some of you know that I have been known to go to a coffee house,  write some impromptu napkin poetry, and take the stage to go up do a poetry reading.  So I felt the need to express myself with a poem today.  This one is about farts.

Oh floating air biscuit they just don’t understand,

How you whither and tither with each wave of the hand.

Some think you’re stinky but I think you’re swell,

It must cloud their judgement because of your smell.

One good dutch oven brings laughter to all,

So much that I will catch you when you fall.

They waft you, they tease, they mock, and they sneer,

I’ll never understand the depths of their fear.

Please Don’t Forget

December 11, 2009

It was 12 years ago, December 1997, and I sat in a GP Medium canvas tent on a wide-open treeless hilltop above some kind of coal mine in Bosnia freezing my ass off.  I spent about 7 months in that dump and missed Thanksgiving, Christmas, New Year, my birthday, and other occassions with my family and friends back home (in Germany).  It was one thing to witness the blatant disregard for anything decent that some of those people had, but the personal discomforts made it even worse.  The tent would drop to about 20 degrees at night and the nearest bathroom was a porta-potty about 100 yards away through knee-deep snow and 50 mph wind.  For 7 months I bitched and moaned more than I thought possible and my time there seemed like it would never end.

But it did end–finally–and because of it I have a much greater appreciation for everything and everyone I have.  It sucked but it made me a better person, a stronger person.  It also allows me a better understanding of what our men and women and their families are going through right now–except it is much more difficult for them.  Many of these men and women are on their 2nd, 3rd, or even 4th tours in Iraq and/or Afghanistan, both of which are much more difficult and higher intensity environments than Bosnia was.  Their families are also having to endure their absences, yet again, for another holiday season, more birthdays, children being born, loved ones passing on, and other significant events.  Somewhere over there I know a young soldier is sitting on a sand dune or in his cot looking at the picture his wife just sent him of his family back home and he’s not sorry fir himself.  He is sorry for his children that he will not be there Christmas morning to hug them and kiss them and watch the joy on their faces when they open their presents.  Around the United States countless families sit hoping and praying that they never get that phone call or that the casualty assistance officer and chaplain never come to knock on their door.  Most will be lucky.  Some will not. 

People thank me all the time for my service and although it is a gesture which I appreciate very much I always give the same reply: do not thank me, thank the men and women who are over there now and need your thoughts and prayers to return safely to their families.  Send a letter to “Any Soldier” or a care package or get online and send e mails of warm wishes and support.  I can’t tell you the feeling I had while in Bosnia when I used to get “Any Soldier” letters expressing support and gratitude for the job we were trying to do.  It means more than most folks will ever understand and these young men and women serving today will greatly appreciate it.

In closing, please remember to keep these soldiers, sailors, airmen, and marines in your thoughts during the Christmas season.  It is not asking too much in exchange for the sacrifices they and their families endure time and time again.

Harry Reid is a Douchebag

December 9, 2009

Okay today’s post is political in nature only because I am fed up with the hypocrasy and the free pass these idiots get from the media.  Yes, I am speaking particularly of a VERY liberal (not to mention corrupt) Senator and the obviously liberal media.  In case you don’t know Senator Harry Reid (D-NV) is the primary architect of this trainwreck of a “health care” bill that Congress is trying to and hopefully will not pass.  Now that public opinion is turning against the bill Senator Reid obviously blames the Republican party for obstructing the bill’s progress by debating some of the contents of the bill.  That’s fine and Republicans do the same thing to Democrats all the time….it’s politics.  However, Senator Reid goes so far as to compare Republican debate of the health care bill with slavery!!!!  Really?!?!?!  Here’s his quote: “If you think you’ve heard these same excuses before, you’re right,” Reid said. “When this country belatedly recognized the wrongs of slavery, there were those who dug in their heels and said, ‘Slow down, it’s too early, things aren’t bad enough.'” 

But wait there’s more.  Reid goes on to say “When this body [Senate] was on the verge of guaranteeing equal civil rights to everyone regardless of the color of their skin, some senators resorted to the same filibuster threats that we hear today.”  Hmmmm let’s take a closer look Harry:  Who launched an 83 day fillibuster of the 1964 Civil Rights Bill?  That’s right….Democrats did.  In fact it gets even better: Senator Robert Byrd (D-WV)–who is still a Senator– personally fillibustered for 14 hours!  Not to mention Senator Byrd was an acknowledged member of the Ku Klux Klan!!!  Senator Byrd also opposed the Voting Rights Act of 1965! 

Democrats fought against Civil Rights and women’s suffrage, not Republicans.  So why would Harry “I Need a History Lesson” Reid invoke these historical references?  Because he is a giant Douche who is WAY behind in the polls for his re-election bid in 2010 and he is desperate. Now if you tune in to NBC, CBS, ABC, MSNBC, or CNN you will either hear nothing or very little about this.  It’s simply dismissed.  If a Republican said these things and compared a health care bill with Civil Rights and women’s suffrage there would be outrage for weeks.  The media really has become a disgrace….almost as big a disgrace as Harry Reid….almost. 

Health care is about finding ways to make sure people are covered and can get the care they need.  Civil rights and suffrage are about equality, personal freedoms, rights, and liberty.  I refuse to believe these things are on equal footing or should be compared.

Tis the Season

December 8, 2009

So winter is upon us and is full of good things: Christmas, my daughter’s birthday, my birthday, not having to look at guys in sandals, etc.  Unfortunately this is also the time of year for holiday cheese.  Not the edible type of cheese but the cheesy kind.  There are 2 things that stand out to me more than others: Christmas songs and Christmas cards.

First the songs:  do I really need to hear Yoko Asshole screeching “War is over…” every time I turn on the radio?!?!?  Last time I checked there’s a war going on so war is not over.  Nor can she sing.  Paul McCartney, WHAM!, Elton John, Band-Aid, these are all big mistakes.  Someone please find me a damn station that doesn’t play this garbage!!!!!

Christmas cards: listen, if you’re going to send me a card with a picture on it, make it a picture of the whole family….not just your kids!  I find it insulting when I open an envelope and BAM! there’s a picture of your kid(s) staring at me.  Chances are I give a rat’s ass and will immediately throw it in the garbage.  Send me a nice picture of the whole family or just a card….nobody except grandparents want to see this. 

Now just to show I am not Mr. Grumpy Pants there are plenty of things I like about this time of year.  Most of all is my daughter’s excitement knowing that Santa will be coming soon and the fact that I have it in my back pocket as a bargaining chip to keep her in line if she misbehaves.  Let’s face it, kid’s could care less if Santa’s watching in June!!!

I like the decorations….shoot, I had my tree erected (insert your joke here) on 1 November this year, a new record!  It took a while longer to decorate it and decorate the house but the tree was up!

Best of all is Christmas morning.  I love the look on Samantha’s face when she sees what Santa left her.  Oh and yes, I like opening my presents too.  I am a greedy bastard and like presents….sue me!

Morning Wood

December 2, 2009

Calm down it’s not what you think.  So day 1 of the new blog….ahhhh where to begin.  How about some general topics to maybe generate some discussion…I will list a topic and my general stance on it and we will see if anyone cares to comment or start some kind of discussion:

1)  Global warming – junk science whereby “scientists” omit data that does not support their argument in the name of scoring more research money.  Hmmm and I thought Al Gore was a genius and Leonardo DiCaprio was an authority on climatology!

2) Sandals/Flip flops – Men should be banned from wearing these unless at a pool or beach.  Dude, put some frigging shoes on! I have had nightmoares about being attacked by legions of big hairy feet!

3) Those people that drive around their cars with the bass pumping or the loud mufflers like they’re some kind of badass.  Uh uh…you’re not a bad ass Chachi….you’re a douche.

4) Kids/Teens/etc – Man, there are some serious parenting issues out there!  You ever go to the mall and look at some of these cornholes walking around with their pants falling down?  Or 13 year old girls who look like prostitutes?  I think ALL schools should have uniforms….individuality my ass, you’re not there to express your individuality….you’re there to learn.

5) TV – I like TV as much as the next guy but what is with all this “reality” TV?!?!?  Look at the 2 nitwits who just crashed the White House State Dinner–or as I like to call them Ass and Hole.  This was done all in the name of reality TV.  Those 2 butt lickers ought to be prosecuted. 

6) Celebrities – I can’t stand celebrities.  Well that’s not entirely true…I can’t stand people who are obsessed with celebrities.  I especially love when celebrities give their political opinions or opinions on issues.  Mmmmmm verbal diarrhea….YUMMY!

7) That’s right #7….I have a lot of them but this will be the last one for today.  Political correctness.  UGH I hate this!  Sorry, but I am gonna call a midget a midget.  So if you’re easily offended or believe in the whole PC matra then you may just want to avoid my blog–my own little space on the web where I can, and will be myself 🙂 

Let me know whatcha think!  Toodles!

So here we go again

December 1, 2009

So one time long ago, I used to have a blog.  The site became loaded with spam and other annoyances so I abandoned it.  Now I am attempting a comeback of sorts by creating a new blog.  Most of my topics will be about random daily occurances, politics, bashing global warming nonsense, hot chicks, and current events.  I welcome all comments from anyone reading and while I may yell at you if you disagree, I promise not to get too crazy…maybe.